Learning to Hope

Learning To Hope (for baby) + a Christmas Song download - johnandmelodyadopt.com

I. Love. Christmas.

And while I'm not one to whip out the Christmas decor in October (I also love Thanksgiving and fall decor, yo), I do soak up every moment of the season. Since I work from home, I try to plan as much work from my couch as I can so I can stare at the Christmas tree, play Christmas music in the living room, and keep something warm baking (Christmas cookies are life). I'm spoiled this time of year getting to spend so much time in the comfort of my cozy home. When I worked at an organization I always felt like I didn't get enough time to truly enjoy the season.

But here I am, doing what I love, and enjoying all things Christmas, including one of my favorite parts—putting lights up on the house! Note: John does about 90% of the work, that stud.

Melody from johnandmelodyadopt.com
John putting up Christmas lights
Christmas lights in front yard

But regardless of how much I get to soak up the season's moments, there's always been something missing.

Every year since we decided to start trying for a family, we've said it: "Maybe this year we'll have a little one to enjoy the holidays with!" Which turned into next year. And then next year again. And now we're finding ourselves saying it again, but with a little more hope this time.

But not too much hope.

Remember when Chandler and Monica in Friends were adopting? There was a potential match, and they were going to meet with the birth mom (in the infamous "birthmother" episode). When they announced it to the gang, they were both saying "This might be it... but this might also not be it! We're not getting our hopes up. There's still a lot to figure out." But by the end of the scene after the influence of their friends, Monica is jumping up and down and excitedly shouting "I'm gettin' myself a baby!"

That about sums up the daily tug-and-pull of the adoption process and embracing the reality of bringing home baby. There's no timeline for us. There's no due date (yet). And while we're technically not even in the "waiting period" yet, we're still waiting, and knowing whether or not the next holiday season will include a baby Christian is still unknown.

But we're learning to hope because God wants us to have hope! He takes pleasure in seeing the desire of His children's hearts and fulfilling our every longing. We're slowly learning to embrace all of the emotions associated with the waiting period of adoption, and continue to let our hope grow unreservedly!

But this Christmas season, as much as we yearn to say "Next year we WILL have a little one around for the holidays!" we can't be too certain. Because we might have a baby this time next year — but we also might NOT. Either way—we're learning to be okay with it. We have to walk a fine line of allowing God to continue to take us down the path he Has set before us — and be able to find joy and patience (emphasis on the patience) in it, every step of the way.

Thankfully we do have peace about all of it. All of those empty Christmases have led us to adoption, this moment in time, and we wouldn't trade it. So we move forward knowing the same is still true. And while we do indeed hope that next year we'll be holding a baby in our arms by the Christmas tree, assuming he/she is enjoying the lights and music as much as mama is—we wait in realistic and hopeful anticipation. 


An encouraging little piece this holiday season while we ourselves are taking a break from fundraising efforts: a Christmas song written and recorded by our friend, Brennan! He's helping us raise funds by selling the song for a donation amount of your choice (suggested donation is $5 and ALL proceeds go straight to us!). Take a quick listen to this beautiful song (also read through the lyrics), and if you love it — download it!




by Brennan Heisler

Verse 1

Cold desert night
Ain't no blanket of snow
Oh, to keep you wrapped up tight
To keep your heart from wanderin' alone

And they told you the moon
Would guide you home but the fools
Never walked your road before
They don't know what it's like to be alone

Verse 2

Born Christmas night
Where hay and love kept me warm
Couldn't see no end in sight
Didn't know where I'd finally call home

The bearer of hope
A Holy Child rejected by all
Born into uncertain times
I know the hopeless road you've walked


Even though the world has failed you
No, you're not alone
I'll bring you in, give you shelter
Build you a home

All around the wind is howling
I'll keep you safe from harm
Cold desert nights'll never tear you
Away from my arms

Verse 3

Innocent child
Ain't no fault of your own
Shouldn't have to pay no price
To finally find a place you belong

Now when you're low
And feel like love's come a little too late
Mama's gonna hold you close
And Father'll carry the weight


Rejoice, rejoice Emmanuel
Cold desert nights'll never tear you
Away from my arms


Christmas is quickly ramping up with my family's celebration happening next weekend, then it's off to Missouri for Christmas with John's family! There's so much to do before then, and we're doing our best to pace ourselves and make time to slow down for the season, continuing to remember the meaning of Christmas and the "why" behind it all.

We're thankful for you, dear friends and our beloved village, coming alongside us every step of way! We thank God for you this season as we move forward in hope and anticipation.

Merry Christmas!